While I write for this videogame blog, I do geek out for a variety of different mediums. I live as a multi-faceted nerd. I am, in the parlance of our times, a complicated dude. I both play videogames AND read comics. I am a rare and beautiful creature, ladies.
I’m like a unicorn of useless knowledge and slightly enhanced hand-eye coordination skills. Line forms to the left to buy me dinner.
*Ahem*
We are currently living in a pop cultural crossroads.
Comic books are teetering on a precipice. The top selling books routinely flirt with selling copies in the hundreds of thousands, but those books are few and far between. However, look at the top earners at the box office, and superheroes rule. Other movies that do as well also tap into the same audience of literate turbo-nerd, for example Lord of the Rings, Transformers, and Pirates of the Caribbean. All those movies struck a chord with mainstream audiences, but their base is the geek. Not only do they bring in the money, but look at the critical reception of Iron Man and the Dark Knight which were very well received.
Conversely videogames are skyrocketing in popularity. Mainstream breakthroughs like Halo and Madden took the image of playing videogames exclusively from darkened basements and into dorm rooms, frat houses, and in front of expensive entertainment systems.
(I mean, have you see GTA IV or Gears of War in HD on a giant TV? It’s like God coming down and giving you new eyes to see with. I wept. There. I said it. Now it’s out there and we all have to deal with it.)
However, as games have ascended into the billion dollar neighborhood the movies based on them have been increasingly lackluster. Some, like the Resident Evil franchise, have done well enough to keep going, but these movies are neither box office giants nor critical darlings.
A lot of this has to do with the people behind it. Let’s look at Resident Evil: how in the screaming blue hell do you screw up that story? Start with an elite squad in over there heads; humanity’s best fighting back against the horrors of the darkness inside our own hearts made real by science without morality. The STARS teams could probably have gotten through the house if they knew what was inside and brought the right equipment, but they had to improvise at which point things went horribly awry.
So naturally the movie had to be about a supermodel that kicks the zombie dogs in the face.
Then of course there’s Uwe Boll. Jon Favreau and Christopher Nolan both had a passion for their respective characters that let them delve into their essence and impart a real humanity to superheroes and an authenticity to their worlds.
Now, Uwe Boll has passion. It just so happens that his passion looks a lot like vendetta. He creates movies based on videogame properties that forces one to ponder if his family was wiped out by a rogue Sega Master System, or if he had been attacked by a rabid Space Invaders machine as a German youth. The two men at the peak of the videogame pile are Uwe Boll and Paul W.S. Anderson. That’s just goddamn depressing.
However, there’s hope. That hope is a man named Gore Verbinski, and he’s been tapped to direct an adaptation of Bioshock. Gore Verbinski is awesome for two main reasons; first, his name is Gore which is cool because it’s something a bull can do to you, and second he directed the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise which, like many plotlines in videogames, is pretty damn weird. It’s not the weirdest thing, ever, but, and this is the important part, it is the weirdest thing to gross 2,681,440,232 worldwide.
Now, over two billion dollars doesn’t make sense to most of us. It’s more money than any of us will ever see, let alone comprehend. It’s like an imaginary number. I may have as well said eleventy-twentyteen-kajillion.
So, to put that number into perspective, imagine an empty swimming pool. The pool’s depth runs from three foot at the shallow end to ten feet at its deepest. The pool is one hundred feet long, and twenty-five feet wide. Now fill that pool with one hundred dollar bills.
Got it?
Good.
Now picture the pool being located on an island you bought with all the left over cash, because you have over two billion dollars, and that’s what you buy when you have what is known in some circles as “fuck you” money.
I realize that neither money nor popularity is an indicator of worth. I mean, So You Think You Can Dance does great in ratings, but will anyone defend it as anything more than fluff? However, the money does mean that Verbinski is a proven earner, and that means the studios and producers will stay out of his way. No notes on adding a wise-cracking ethnic stereotype sidekick or insisting on a rap metal soundtrack.
More than that, he managed to make a movie based on a theme park ride successful. The first movie was exciting, skirted the edge of dark, and was incredibly watchable. Now free of Disney’s iron grip, Verbinski can embrace the weird, and we the audience can, perhaps, get a glimpse at some of the truly strange stuff floating around as concept art for the Pirates movies.
With any luck, videogames can grow up. As narrative in videogames become deeper and more complex, they can sync up with movies better and perhaps have videogames recognized as another viable form of expression.
At the very least, Bioshock can be a huge success and I can get my goddamn Halo movie.